Saturday, October 5, 2013

What is wrong with me?

I do not use any cosmetic products at all. I do not wear make-up either. I look younger than my age and I think it's because I am fat. The fat kind of hides away the wrinkles.

My 30th High School re-union is coming up in May and I suddenly started thinking I should be looking good at that event. No, there is no old flame that I need to impress or anything like that. Rather, I think there are really gorgeous looking women among my old school mates. Some of them did not look so well when they were younger. I hate Facebook for making me feel self-conscious.

Lately I had been looking at my face with a criticizing eye and today I bought myself a night cream and an eye cream. I had done that before many times and ended up throwing all the creams out when I could not remember when I had bought them. I cannot fall into that womanly routine, where you cleanse your face and put on your creams at night. I do not know if I will make a habit of that now.

I did not buy a day cream because I do not like the feel of cream on my face. It makes me sweat.

I also took close-up pictures of my face and eye area to experiment if the creams really work. I do not really think they do but one can hope, right?

My period has been delayed twice lately and I am thinking I may be entering menopause. I should see a doctor and I think I just realized that I am getting old and there is no turning back. I have never felt this strange before but, I feel like I have missed some things in life and there is no way of getting or doing them now. That is weird because I had always thought I had lived a nice and fulfilling life. Strange, very strange...

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