Monday, January 16, 2017

January 15

If my father were alive, yesterday would have marked his 77th birthday. However, he passed when he was only 54. There isn't one single day, I haven't thought of him since his passing.

He was a quick witted person and was very fond of joking. He was a very loving father but he was excessively protective and he was a worrier. Growing up, I had found those traits difficult to deal with. I usually think, that is why he passed at such a young age. He was always terribly afraid that, he would not be able to cope with his mother's passing. My grandma outlived him by 7 years. He was afraid that his brother would kill himself because of alcoholism. He did and everybody dealt with it including my grandma who outlived my uncle by 3 years. 

He died on February 20th. So, the time between his birthday and his death day is especially tough on me. Oh, and Father's Day is the worst. 

I am turning 50 this year and as I approach the age he died, I tend to stop and reflect back on things more often. 

My heart is heavy these days...


4 comments:

  1. There is something about fathers and daughters -- mine has been gone for 24 years come April. I lost him first to Alzheimer's disease and then to his actual death. I am youngest of 8 so he was 83 when he passed. I miss him still and each time I see a honeybee I think of him (he kept bees). I don't do Father's Day either, but I have been known to buy a helium balloon on Father's Day and send it skyward - it seems to help me -- maybe it would help you too.

    Hugs coming your way from SE MN

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    1. Thank you Jean. I love the idea of a balloon. Now, when I see a honeybee, I will think of you and your father...

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  2. While I am still fortunate to have my dad (he will turn 89 in a few weeks), my mom passed away 3 years ago. I don't care how old a person becomes, you never stop missing your parents. Have you ever read any of the 'God Winks' books? If not, they are worthy of a read. Hugs as you navigate this difficult time of year. Lucy

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    1. Thanks Lucy. I wish your dad a healthy and happy life.
      I will check out those books.

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