I bought a bouquet of flowers from the grocery store last Monday. here is a picture of my hyacinths and my bouquet. It must have been extremely fresh when I bought it.
I will preserve the hyacinth bulbs for next year.
I am the only one who buys me flowers. Lol!
These days I am making plans for the next three months.
They have eased the COVID precautions and as a result, the cases are on the rise again. I believe, there are mutant strains. Istanbul is becoming a huge red zone again. It may be better to go away for a bit and I also do need change.
I am thinking of going to Ankara for a few weeks till it gets warm enough to go down South. My sister told me she took everything she wanted from among Mom's belongings and I should give away the rest. We decided to keep the nightgowns and pajamas because, they fit us too. We are also keeping all the bed linens, towels and etc. Looks like we do not need to purchase any for at least 10 years or so. Lol! All of us are suckers for bed linens and towels.
SIS also changed mom's bedroom by moving furniture around and told me to take that room from now on. I used to stay at the guest room.
In Ankara, I will get to see some friends and my cousins minding the social distancing. When it warms up enough to go in the water, I will go stay with uncle for a few weeks in Antalya. There are tons of beaches where I can avoid people. An umbrella at the back of my car, a folding chair, cooler and lots of sunscreen are all I need. I am sure uncle will be happy because we both need the company. Once, it is June, Antalya becomes too hot for me and it also gets crowded. Then I will go stay with SIS and BIL although Izmir also gets hot too. I am thinking of coming back to Istanbul in early June.
So, now I am eating out of my freezer to get ready to go on my trip. I will also check out the dates on other food items to decide whether I should leave them here at home or take with me. Tonight's menu was sauteed fennel and onions with chicken.
I need to make a list of what I am going to take with me on my trip because there will be different temperatures and I should pack accordingly. Sigh... That will be a lot of stuff plus beach things...
Today, I attended a funeral and it brought back all those sad feelings and tears. My father's cousin lost her husband after a very similar ordeal to mom's. At this point, I avoid funerals but, she is someone I really like and care for so, I felt compelled to go.
I will try to focus on the positive aspects of life and try to be more cheerful.
Last couple of weeks, I have realized that I have been depressed and I need professional help.
You may recall that I had been stressed by the part-time gig and that I wanted out. A few unfortunate things occurred and I felt compelled to give my friend some more time to find a proper replacement. However, she did not act on it as fast as I wanted, perhaps due to her workload.
Last week, she was very excited about a new prospect and asked for my help in putting together a proposal. She also sought help of another mutual friend. Well, we helped her put together a proposal and when she suggested the roles she thought we would take, I made it clear that I would not take part in this project. The mutual friend also told her that this was a full-time job and that she would not commit to it. I could sense that my business owner friend was bummed.
First and foremost, she is trying to sell something she does not have: 7 hiring consultants. If she signs an agreement and hires 7 people, that is a huge risk especially if one of her invoices do not get paid on time. It would pose a serious cash flow problem.
So, I suggested her to sell what she actually has: Her experience and her database. She was reluctant at first but apparently, she talked about this with the prospective customer and they loved the idea. Meanwhile our mutual friend called me and I told her about my idea and how it flew with the customer. She laughed and told me, my friend called her as well and talked about it as if it was her own idea and how well it was received. Lol! I am not angry. I don't care as long as I can be out of this a.s.a.p.
As for the positions I am responsible for, it looks like one will be filled by the Customer and that's OK. It has been almost 5 months and they did not like any of the people I have sent them.
The other may be closed if they finally decide to make an offer to my candidate and if he accepts it.
So, I may be done by the end of this month after all. I also made it very clear that, I will not be taking on new work. She is still trying to convince me that this is a good business. I told her that it may be but, not for me. Can I be more clear? She acts disappointed but, I have told her that I would not hang her out to dry and that she should find somebody else, weeks ago. She should have.
Meanwhile, I have decided to talk to a professional for my anxiety issues and depression. I want to focus on myself and get better. I need to sleep better, eat better, exercise, read and spend time with family.
Today I did loads of laundry that I had been ignoring for a while and cleaned my kitchen. I also started making my plans for April, May and early June.
Last year today was the last day mom spent at home. After midnight, she was hospitalized and never came back home.
A very sad day for our family...
Today we shared fun pictures of mom on our small family whatsapp group (Uncle, SIS, BIL and I) and tried to focus on the happier memories.
It is still very hard...
