Mom - New Hospital, New Doctors

Today, I texted my friend's friend who is the head of the Infectious Disease Department. He told me to go see him by 2 p.m.

Promptly at 2 p.m. I walked into his office. He is a very nice and mellow man. He told me mom's lungs are not the biggest problem but her heart is. He gave me a summary of what has been done at the other hospital and how he now intends to follow her. He said a cardiologist was going to see her today and after they receive the test results that they have ordered today, they will sit down and come up with a treatment plan.

He then called the medical technician who monitors the patients at that particular ICU (They have 5 of those). The technician had done his homework and he also summarized their initial findings.

They promised that, they will call me every day possibly around noon time to update me. I asked if we could make our voices heard and talk to her at least over the phone and they said they did not have that capability. I told them I could bring her cell phone and give it to the nurses so that, when they are tending to her, we could at least talk to her although, she will not be able to answer us. They said, it may be possible later on. So, I did not press further.

I asked them to please talk to her when they are in her room because she needs some stimulation.

I also gave them the air bed we had purchased for bedsores. It looks like the other hospital did not even use it. She has some bedsores. The kind of bed we have bought is better so, they will use it. I was waiting for a nurse to come get it but, the Professor was going upstairs and he saw me. He took the air bed and carried it upstairs for me. Such a nice man. He told me never to hesitate to call him on his cell phone.

These things of course do not alone determine whether mom will make it or not but, now the doctors are reachable and at least we will ask everything that confuses us.

As for the financial aspect of this; the hospital care for her is free since, she has been admitted through ER and ended up in the ICU as per the social medical system we have. However, I told them if there is any medicine or any other thing they may need which is not reimbursed by the Government Social Security, they should call us. We are willing to do whatever it takes.

I then went to the Pharmacy owned by one of my old HS pals and picked up 10 bottles of Nutrivigor for my BIL's mom. She is not in good shape and is having difficulty eating. Apparently, she is losing weight and not getting enough nutrition. A doctor needs to see her and put this on her medical requirements list so that, they can get them for free. However, at this time we wanted to try it first to see if she will like it. I am told it tastes like chocolate shake so, what is there not to like? I also brought them some extra trashbags for the diapers they use on BIL's mom and some masks just in case the dad or the caregiver needs to go out. I did not enter the apartment because I was at the hospital earlier so, I could not see the mom. Poor woman. The second stroke did her in. Her right side is paralyzed, she can't talk and we are not sure if she understands who is who and what's going on around her.

After I left, I called my BIL to tell him that I had dropped the stuff at his folks and he said both moms are making us miserable these days. He is an only child, poor thing. He then, thanked me for being his big sister too. He is a sweetheart and loves my sister to the moon and back.

When I came home, I hung my clothes outside, took off my mask and face shield and took a long shower. I was wearing gloves but the doctor told me there is no need for it if I practice good hand hygiene

So, today was busy and purposeful. It made me feel a wee bit better.

Mom now at a Different Hospital

Earlier today, mom's doctor called me to let me know that they are moving her to another hospital's ICU. She said theirs was a Covid-19 pandemic hospital and that if she were in a regular ICU, we would be able to see her.

They had told us that they were looking to move her but, I thought it would be within the campus. At first, I was devastated because I knew nothing about this other hospital. So, I went on Facebook to my and my sister's High School Alumni group to see if anyone knew about this place. It turned out that they have a good reputation. On top of that we have discovered many friends who knew doctors there.

As soon as the former hospital told me the specially equipped ambulance took her, I jumped in my car and went there. I have been told the families are not allowed to see patients these days due to additional precautions that they are taking. However, I was able to see her for 5 minutes. They let me see her when I told them I have not seen her for over two months. She is being sedated but, she was awake and she did respond to me. I made her blink if she recognized me. With a mask and a face shield, I wasn't sure. I told her that we loved her and missed her over and over again. I saw a small tear and a bit of a smile. Knowing that she is conscious is a good thing. But then again, may be not. I do not know how frightened she must be.

I will not describe how she looked. Suufice it to say, she just looked like she has been in a battle.

Later in the day, a friend of mine called me to check in and she told me that she was very good friends with the Head Infectious Disease Doctor at that particular hospital. She called him in the evening. He told her to give me his cell number so that I can call him anytime tomorrow to meet up with him.

Mom is still in critical condition and her other organs are under stress making her very fragile.

I am happy to be able to see her but, my heart is aching and I am constantly sobbing today. This has been the hardest test of my life and I hope, I will never ever have to face another one like this.

Thanks to all of you sending prayers and thoughts our way.

Mother's Day when Mom is still in the ICU

This is a tough day with mom still in the ICU. My sister's birthday was in April and she did not celebrate it. Now, Mother's Day... I still hope for her recovery before my birthday in early June.

Also, my heart goes out to Anne over at Cooking and All That Jazz whose mom just passed unexpectedly. She and her sister are in my thoughts and prayers.

If I cannot be with mom, if I cannot even send her flowers like I always did, I can at least talk about her here.

Mom is not a typical doting parent. She is a realist and a tough cookie. When we got sick as kids, my dad would be devastated and was not much help around because he worried a lot and he could not function other than taking our temperatures and pacing the apartment nervously with a very worried look. Mom on the other hand, would feed us, administer our meds and would order us to stay in bed and rest. Even if she was worried, she would not let us see it and would rather act like the authority figure than get all sentimental. So, as I was waking up after a surgery when I was 17, I was shocked to see that she was crying by my hospital bed. Then, she told me they were tears of joy because everything was fine.

In 1990, when I have learnt that my new company was going to send me to the US, the very weekend that I started my new job instead of three months later as was the original plan, I called my dad and he totally freaked out because he thought, he had time to get used to the idea of me moving away for the first time. I also called mom and she said "Oh... This weekend ha? I should take a half day of today to do some shopping for you." She came home with a bunch of new clothing items including extra underwear, a bath robe and pajamas and started packing my suitcase while my dad was still nervously ranting. At the airport, they stayed longer to see the plane take off and right after it did my dad turned around and told her "Shit! She really is gone!" Mom laughed at him. 

When my sister wanted to get married, she was cool as cucumber. Typical Turkish moms would be overinvolved with everything, be ready to dislike the mother-in-law to be, would state their opinions on everything from the wedding venue to the vacuum cleaner to the bed linens and every single trivial matter. They love to meddle and blow everything out of proportion. Mom? Not at all. She worked out a budget and handed my sister and BIL the amount of money she wanted to gift them to buy whatever they liked. Then, she gave me the same amount of money in cash! She told me even though I did not get married, I was still her child and the money was my right. It was a pretty hefty amount too. Then I jokingly asked her what if I got married later on; with a big smile in her face, she told me I would get zilch then.

She always believed in the values they instilled in us, the education they have provided and also believed in us. She says, they have done the best that they could and after graduating the University, it was our turn to get a hold of our lives and live with our own decisions.

She is the authority figure and the matriarch of our family. As my grandparents got old, my grandpa took her two brothers aside and told them that, the three siblings would be getting their house as inheritance. They were all entitled to do whatever with the house but that, my mother would be the one to say the final word.

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY MOM! 

I love you and I want you back! 

Please, please, please get better and come back to us!

Mom Day 45

Thank you all who have commented. I appreciate your well wishes and prayers. They are much needed. Please do take care and be safe!

Mom is still in the ICU and we still cannot see her. Her lungs are not getting any better despite the heroic efforts of her doctors. They have ruled out Covid-19 after three tests. Pneumonia can be deadly for 30% of the elderly and we think, her situation may be just that. Her other organs are under stress now too. The only thing that keeps us sane is that her doctors are not giving up on her. I can see the tests they giver her daily, the meds they try and the CT scans. There is no such thing as a DNR in Turkey and the family is never asked to permit pulling the plug unless the brain is dead. So, everybody is fighting.

My sister says mom is sort of like in limbo trying to decide whether to cross over or stay on our side. The other day she said, not only mom but we all are in limbo too because of not knowing what is gonna happen next.

This is the most painful experience of my life. Normally, one expects her parents to die before oneself but we all thought (wished, hoped) we had at least another good ten years to go with mom. We never expected her to be in the hospital for so long and we surely never thought we would not be able to see her and whisper that we love her into her ear.

Every single day is plain torture. I try to read, watch TV or just surf the Net just to keep my mind from constantly thinking about mom. Then, I feel guilty because I am trying to not think about her. I do not want to talk to any of my freinds because, I am tired of telling them the same exact thing. However, when I do talk to some of them, I feel a bit better. Then I feel guilty again because, I have felt better. I am caught in this terrible vicious cycle.

However, there are other life requirements like paying taxes, getting tyres switched, grocery shopping and etc. So, we deal with them no matter what.

Tomorrow, uncle and I will take our cars to have the winter tyres be switched with regular tyres. We not only use a mask and a pair of gloves but also a face shield when we go out. Many people may think we are overdoing it but, I am obese and I have a high blood pressure problem so, those put me on top of the very vulnerable list. The Government is very keen on getting back to normal because the economy has already tanked. They seem to not care about the death toll. I know they are not being honest about the number of deaths and the sick patients they publish every day. Even if the world goes back to normal, I have a feeling that I will not, at least for another year or two.

Honestly, I would prefer alien invasion over what we are going through right now.

Again, take care and be safe...