Some of my fellow bloggers may recall that, I have talked about not liking the part-time job I now have. I was thinking of a way to gracefully put and end to it but, I got sucked further into it.
The more I think about this, the more I get worried and stressed. I have three projects that I am working on and a bigger one which would require more of my time for at least 6 months, may be coming my way soon.
My friend sounded worried so, I felt compelled to agree to the bigger one telling her my conditions. I fear those conditions will be stepped all over, once the project starts.
Finally I have decided to wait and see if the big project will happen or not. If it does, I will work on it but meanwhile tell my friend that I do not enjoy this business and that I would no longer be available after the project. If possible, earlier than that if she can find a replacement.
I do not want to withdraw just yet because, I do not want to cause her more stress. She has enough at home and at work.
However, I do have a feeling that what I consider a thoughtful approach might still hurt our friendship. My friend is an emotional person. I understand the situation and after careful consideration, I decided I am willing to risk it for the sake of my own sanity. I am 54. My dad had passed away when he was my age. Life is too short to endure unnecessary stress. If this is going to cost me a friendship, so be it. I hope, she approaches this in a more mature manner. I am willing to give her ample time so as not to stress her.
This had been occupying my mind and that was why I was silent for a few days.
You have to look after yourself first! Kindly tell her she has to find someone else (maybe help her find someone?) and that after she does you will be bowing out. She's going to have stress no matter what, it sounds like.
ReplyDeleteYou are right. I will talk to her and be very open about it. At this point in my life I do not want to be doing anything that does not give me joy.
DeleteI think you're right. It took me years to realize that I was allowed to have my own boundaries and people (my ex, to be specific) had no right to trample all over them. "No" is a complete sentence you know. "No, sorry" also works but you should definitely not follow it up with "because". That way they can't pick away at your refusal. I hope it works out ok for you though - it would be a shame to lose a friendship, but your sanity has to come first! Good luck!
ReplyDeleteThank you. It is such an important point that you've made: We do not need to state our reasons why we say "No". So true.
DeleteKeeping this job is adding to your stress, even though it causes your friend stress that is her lot to deal with - don't feel guilty about taking care of yourself. Hugs
ReplyDeleteExactly. Thank you and hugs right back at you :)
DeleteDitto to all the comments and remember, you've already helped her out on previous projects. Friends understand.
ReplyDeleteThank you EAS! I hope she will understand too.
Delete