Uncle is going to visit me

My uncle is going to come for a visit on Wednesday. I am glad, he finally made up his mind to move a little bit. A week after mom's passing, he went to Antalya and never went back to Ankara or visited us. He does not have many friends over there, only a handful. 

Here in Istanbul, he has some beloved friends whom he does not get to see often and we can do fun things together as well. I think he will take the train to go to Ankara when he is done visiting me. He needs a change of pace for sure. 

In my spare room, I keep the bed with just a cover and a bunch of pillows on top so that, sometimes I can use it like a day bed or sort of like a sofa. Now I need to make the bed and fish out his pajamas he had left last time. 

Today, I finally managed to clear the stuff I dumped on my dinner table when I came back from vacation. I put on a new tablecloth with Fall colors and placed my fake sunflowers on it. I love homes that are decorated for every season but, I am too lazy to do it for my home. Just small stuff. I would like to get a big pot of mums. They remind me of my grandma on my mom's side. She had beautiful mums in her garden and she loved them.

Last time I went to the endochrinologist, he put me on metformin for Type 2 diabetes. First few weeks, I felt a bit nauseous. Nowadays, I do not have much of an appetite. I am going to see him on Wednesday morning and will tell about this.

Tomorrow, I will be meeting with the friend who insists I work with her. Wish me luck! 

I am prepared to tell her that I truly do not have any motivation for this and that she should find someone else who does, within a few months. For now, I will help her by taking only two positions to fill at a time and see how this goes. If it goes well, may be I will take on two more. If not, I will bow out for good. Meanwhile, she absolutely has to look for a long-term person. I do not intend to continue beyond early Spring, if that.

When I sat down to think of this work subject, I have realized that it also brings memories of the extremely hard times during mom's hospitalization and passing. So, my reluctance is possibly because of that too. I was feeling way too depressed up until last May when I went for a long visit to my uncle in Antalya. Ever since, I have been OK but, nowadays, the rainy colder days and lack of sunlight are affecting my mood again. May be at the back of my mind, I am associating this work with mom's sickness and feeling responsible for not being with her at the time. If I were in Ankara, may be I would recognize that her health was not good, may be I could have taken her to a different doctor. All these make me choke up even as type them. I do not know... 

I hope, uncle's visit will lift my mood back up.