About Me

Sunday, August 2, 2020

Need a purpose, a direction in life

I feel, I am on my way to depression these days. I lack purpose in my life. My mom's passing left a huge void. Additionally, the part-time work I used to do has stopped altogether due to Covid-19 and due to the summer. I have no idea whether they will pick up pace.

I have zero talent in any form of art. I have no hobbies other than reading. I need momentum, action and a sense of accomplishment in life.

Yesterday I got together with my childhood friends. One is still working and she has a family of her own and has too much on her plate. The other just retired but, was already staying home since March due to Covid-19 anyway. She is single like I am and during the last 10 years or so, she had been arranging the caregivers for her parents and taking them to hospitals while she worked. In a matter of two years she has lost both parents and now, she says she just watches Netflix all day long. She feels depressed and regretful that she did not have a family of her own. We tried to cheer her up yesterday but, I am in not much of a different situation.

I had always thought, I would do some volunteer work but, with Covid-19, that's not possible.

My sleep schedule is quiet out of whack and I have no idea as to how to get back to normal. 

What to do? What to do?..........

8 comments:

  1. Gosh that's a tough one. I think we all get these times too though - not that that helps you. For so many years I "couldn't wait to retire" and now that it's here and my kids are grown I'm on my own and "free" to do whatever I want, for the most part, and sometimes I don't know what that is either. I feel like I crossed the finishing line and now what? If you figure it out let me know - but I'm sure it's covid/lockdown related. It'll get better!

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  2. I think I would be just like you. Since you enjoy reading, maybe a book club? Take an online class for something you are interested in? Or try genealogy research - that's a HUGE time suck, LOL. I hope it gets easier for you.

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    1. An online class has crossed my mind too. On scenario writing. I have two ideas which might be of interest.

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  3. Grieving can do that to you. You go through stages. I'm glad you are able to see friends and family safely when you can. Take good care!

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  4. I think the loss of your mom and grief has to be a key component. You had plans to be with her, take care of her and fill up your life as a part of that. And how you must miss her. But you will find your new normal and your new passions.

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