About Me

Thursday, May 16, 2019

Frustrated (Venting ahead, beware!)

I don't understand why my weight fluctuates like the stock exchange. I am measuring and watching everything I eat and see the good results on one day on the scale and two days later, it looks like I have gained! Go figure! Is it water? But why? I am already drinking tons of water and watching my salt intake. I guess after 50, the body has a mind of it's own.

I am not going to give up so fast this time. It is basic math. Energy in, energy out! Besides, the endocrinologist is waiting like a hawk to keep on trying to push me into bariatric surgery or Saxenda. No! If need be, I will rather change the doctor. My BMI is fluctuating around 40 so, yes some may consider that a bariatric surgery would be appropriate but, I know without changing your ways, it means nothing.

Today, I pushed myself more on the treadmill and that felt good. So, I will keep at chipping off the pounds. When there is a will, there is a way.

After all, I have gained all this weight in many many years and I was stupid not to control it when it would have been easier. I admit, I was wrong. However, even if I lose 10 kg per year (22 pounds), I will be done with my problem in three years. That is less than 1 kg per month. The key is to change my eating habits. I have to become a mindful eater and it takes a while for habits to develop.

I understand that my problem was eating more carbs than necessary, even with healthy options, I was consuming large portions than I needed. If I were eating a normal portion of pasta, instead of the 1/3 of the Barilla box, I would not be in this position. I was eating big portions and I wasn't putting my mind into what I ate. I could eat pizza for lunch and pasta for dinner. You may get away with that at 15 but, at 52, no way! Also, when I felt down or bored or unhappy or angry, I would find myself in the fridge. I did not keep junk food in there but excessive amounts of even good stuff can make you gain.

As I watch the TLC show, My 600 lb., I realize that I also have some issues I must deal with. Thankfully, I have never been abused or assaulted in my life but, I had some relationships in which things did not work out as I hoped. Things I thought I had forgotten surface from time to time and I must deal with them. I have decided to go through some old photo albums and get rid of some photos which I could not part with in the past. I thought they were a part of my life at one time and I have held on to them. I am thinking that, getting rid of them will make me feel better. There are a couple of things gifted to me. I will get rid of them as well. Yes, they were a part of my past but, they did not bring me happiness after all.

So, there! I have come up with tomorrow's chore.

I dwell on the past too much. I should look ahead and enjoy myself. What could have been or should have been, did not happen. So, why?

There! I got this off my chest. It is almost bed time so, I need to sign off now.


9 comments:

  1. walking helped me lose weight if that's any help?

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    1. Thank you Gill, I will walk more from now on.

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  2. You'll start losing again. You seem to be doing everything right. Just keep doing what you're doing and you'll get there. I'd want to avoid the surgery too.

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    1. Thanks Jan! Perseverance... And patience!

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  3. Definitely definitely it is so much harder to lose weight at this point in life. Look at your weekly loss not your daily. I can gain a pound on a day where I had one meal-normal sized! Eating right and exercising is the only true way to lose some weight and keep it off. You are doing so well, don't let your Dr or the scale discourage you

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    1. Thanks Cheapchick! I will persevere. I let that beat me several times but not this time.

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  4. Sounds like you are taking your focus much sharper! I know you will be losing again before you know it. It just takes time.

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    1. Thank you. I will be patient. I promised myself.

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  5. I never ever keep picture of a past boyfriend! I get rid of all things given to me. I would keep something valuable. You can eat a whole head of cauliflower instead of a few crackers. I would never have bariatric surgery. If you or anyone can live with eating a quarter of a cup of food at a meal, you can eat that same amount now. Well, that is my take on bariatric surgery.

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